You Set It On FIRE? (Thorn and Cedar Promote Overpowered)

Promoting a new book is a lot of work... all those interviews and so on take up an awful lot of your time.  But after reading the Silmaril Award presentations from this year (here and elsewhere: http://jenelleschmidt.com/least-competent-henchman-award/?fbclid=IwAR3jvdWWrF60p0NzKH33Z_I_l6TnrIovYUyAMAcH4RBeuheAGmJc5Fy5GrQ)
I had a bright idea: send my characters to do the interviews in my stead.

In hindsight, this may not have been the best idea.

***

Host: Thanks for joining us today for an all-new episode of the Fairy Tale Show!  Kathryn McConaughy was supposed to be here to talk about her new book, Overpowered, but since she is busy writing her dissertation she sent some of her story’s characters in her place.

The host sits behind a heavy desk at the center of a curved stage.  Several armchairs are arranged across from him, at right angles so that the studio audience can see the faces of anyone who sits there.  Behind him a curtain hides the backstage area.

Two men come out from behind the curtain.  One eases out slowly, shooting a suspicious glare at the talk show host, then leveling a scowl at the audience.  He is of average height, in his mid thirties, with terrible scarring on his face and arms.  The second man nearly hits his head on a boom mike; he is very tall, with a long beard braided in an intricate pattern and thrown over his shoulder like a scarf.  He shambles out in the short man’s wake, a grin barely visible behind his massive beard.  Neither of them are very clean.

Host: Joining us today we have two of McConaughy’s favorite “dwarves”!  Though I’m not sure that description really fits both of you.

The giant chuckles.  The scarred man looks disgusted.

Host: Please welcome… Thorn and Cedar!

The giant, Cedar, waves at the audience, then comes forward to sit in an armchair in front of the host’s desk.  As he puts his weight on it, it makes an alarming noise and he stands up again quickly. Thorn, the scarred man, doesn’t even look at the chairs.  Instead, he moves sideways until the host and his desk are between him and the audience.  The host glances over his shoulder nervously.

Host: So tell me, gentlemen—how did you get these names?  Surely your mothers didn’t name you after plants!

Cedar plops down on the floor and leans back against an armchair.

Cedar: No, thus.  My mother never dreamed o’ such a thing.  It’s a funny story how it came about.  Y’ see, I’ve been a mercenary soldier for many a year.  Most outlaws come an’ go—go down to the underworld, i’ truth, soldierin’ not bein’ a job for uncareful men—but some survive, and y’ fight them again an’ again, because good mercenaries always get hired.  Now there was this one lad, his name’s called Cypress, an’ I had fought with him a time or two, both on the same side an’ not.  An’ when I ran afoul o’ some dead dogs from Hatsor—a perilous crew of Aramaim, so they were—I recalled tha’ he had a grudge against them, and so might like t’ throw in on the opposite side—on my side, that is.  So—

Thorn: What are you doing, you fool?

The host jumps in his chair.  He had forgotten that the scarred man was behind him.

Cedar: Tellin’ the story.

Thorn: To all these?  (He makes an accusing gesture at the audience.)

Cedar:  What’s that to me and t’ you?  What d’you think we’re here for?

Thorn: You spill secrets like a drunkard.

Host: O-kay.  Everyone take it easy.  There’s no need to get upset—you don’t have to answer any questions you don’t feel comfortable with.

Cedar: There’s no—

Thorn: Why don’t you ask me something.  (He stares challengingly at the host.)

The host clears his throat.

Host: Thorn, why don’t you tell us what it is you do in the mercenary band?

Thorn says nothing.

Host: Um, okay.  What do you think of Taliyah, the main character of Overpowered?  What’s she like in real life?

Thorn (gruffly): Who?

Host: She was a member of your mercenary band for over a year?  She fought beside you at Qir Qatina?  She fell off a cliff?  You do know who I’m talking about, right?

Thorn: No.

Cedar: Y’ mean Snow.  She’s a fine lass.  Brave.  A good cook too.

Thorn growls.

Host: So Thorn, when did you realize that she was a girl?  Her disguise seemed to fool some of your colleagues.  What tipped you off?

Thorn: I don’t know what you’re talking about, little man.  (He leans menacingly over the host.)

Cedar tugs at his beard in an exasperated manner.

Cedar: Everyone knows she’s a girl now, man.  It’s written in t’ scroll, or so Yotam tells me, him bein’ smoother with the readin’ than I am.

Thorn: Is it.  Where is this scroll?

The host nervously picks up a book from the desk in front of him.  It has a blue-and-purple cover with the image of a burning tree on the front.

Host: I’ve got a copy right here…

Thorn snatches it out of his hand, then pulls out a dagger.  He levels it at the host’s wide eyes.

Thorn: You’ve read this?

Host: Y-yes.

Thorn grabs the host by the shoulder.

Thorn: Who else?  Tell me!  WHO ELSE HERE HAS READ IT?

Host: N-no one!  It’s not out until October twenty-ninth!

Thorn: Then I only have to kill YOU.  No one’s coming after Snow again!

Host: I’m not coming after her!  We don’t want to come after her!  Please don’t—

Cedar: Ayeh.

The giant stands up and looks around, then pushes a stage light over.  It falls with a crash.  Then the carpet catches on fire.  Thorn looks over, distracted.

Cedar: This worm’ll never figger out where the lass is livin’ now.  Thunderer’s spear, I’d wager he’s never even seen the Yeshurni hills.  Take the scroll, Thorn; there’s no need t’ kill the man.

Thorn growls, then vaults over the desk to thrust the book into the fire.  He watches fiercely as it burns.

Thorn: I’m done here.  (He vanishes back behind the curtain.)

Cedar: Eh. Thorn.  (He eyes the fire calmly, then picks up the heavy desk, turns it over, and drops it on the fire, smothering most of it.)  He’s been tetchy since Qir Qatina.  Seein’ visions doesn’t agree wi’ him.

Host: He’s crazy!  I’m… I’m calling security.

Cedar: Do as yer heart pleases.  They’ll ne’er catch him.  No one e’er catches Thorn.  Sorry about yer scroll; but it’s best it’s burned.  Thorn doesn’t understand about the prin-ting-press.  He won’t know that y’ can make more o’ the things.  Y’ can get a new one.

Host:  A new… Are you nuts?  You think I ever want to read that book again?  Do you think ANYONE will want to read it?

Cedar: Why not?

Host: There’s a serial killer running around who’s threatening to kill anyone who reads it!

Cedar: Eh, you’re over-reactin’.  He would no’ really have killed you.  He’s tryin’ not t’ do that any more.

Host: Really?

Cedar: Maybe.  Anyhow, he’ll be too busy lookin’ for Fig and tryin’ to keep Thistle from dyin’ to give you lot any trouble.

Host: What are you talking about?

Cedar: Sequels, man, sequels…  I’m off.  (The giant calmly walked through the scattered fires on the carpet and pushed through the curtain.)

The host stared at the wreck of his stage.  

Host: F-fire?  Fire!

Voice from off-camera:  What should we do?

Host: Go to commercial!

The screen goes black, then begins to show sepia-tinged images—slow motion action shots from the battle of Qir Qatina.  We see Thorn leading a tiny group of slingers against an army, then Cedar and other members of his band fighting in front of a village.  An overly dramatic music track begins to play.  Then a confident voice speaks.

“I am Cypress, and I have the perfect mercenary band for all your needs.  Whether you need a large force to defend your home, or a small, mobile force to raid your rival’s sheep, I have experienced professionals in my employ who can get the job done.  Payment in silver or other materials to be agreed upon by both parties.  Contact me by messenger in the hills west of Taanat-shiloach, in Eprayim of Yeshurun.  Messenger should approach unarmed.  The Band of Cypress accepts no liability for the death or injury of any messengers who approach while carrying weapons.”

The screen goes black again.  “Now back to the Fairy Tale Show, your source for news on all things fairy tale! … Um.  Due to technical difficulties, we are unable to resume the show at this time.  Please enjoy your evening, and remember to add Overpowered to your to-read shelf on Goodreads!  Electronic editions will be available from Kindle and Smashwords on October twenty-ninth!  Buying these editions should be totally safe, since if the outlaw Thorn doesn’t know about the printing press he certainly doesn’t know about digital files.  However, paperback copies will also be available on Amazon for those brave souls undeterred by paranoid mercenaries!  And now, good night…”

Formatting Your Paperback in Word

I’ve spent a good chunk of time playing with the formatting settings in Word, so when it was time to format my paperback for Overpowered I had a great time with it.  It’s so much fun creating something that looks like a real book!  (And then you get to upload it to KDP and buy proof copies…  My gloating over my proof copies has probably been a bit excessive.)

Since Amazon doesn’t seem to have migrated its help files over from CreateSpace (… and they weren’t necessarily that helpful in the first place), I thought I would write up a quick summary of what I did to make my paperback look like a Real Book.

For these directions, I assume that you’re using Word as your text editor.  I have Word 2013.  If you have a different version, you will have the same functionality but the way you get to the result may be different.  Word Help is your friend here.

So here are my suggestions.

1. Have the text of the story all edited and ready to go.  It’s really annoying when you revise something and then realize that the change destroyed your formatting.  Have the scenes divided however you want them divided; use page breaks to divide between chapters.

2. Choose a trim size.  Your trim size is the size of the front cover of your book.  There are a lot of industry standard trim sizes which are supported by Kindle Direct and other self-publishing services.  I chose the 5.5 inch wide by 8.5 inch high trim size—the same size that Bethany House uses.  This size is available as the Statement template in Word.

3. Set your margins and your gutter.  (The gutter is the extra width you need in the inner margins so that your pages can connect to the spine without the text becoming unreadable.)  I went and measured the margins of some traditionally published books before choosing mine.  Ultimately, I went with 0.5 inches for the left and right margins, 0.75 inches for the top and bottom margins.  To set margins, click on the Page Layout tab, then click the Margins icon at the left end of the ribbon.  Select Custom Margins at the bottom of the dropdown list which appears.  The Page Setup dialogue box will appear.  In the Margins tab, fill in the amounts you want for the various margins.  

Then look downward on that same tab; you’ll see a section marked Pages.  Under it is a line that reads Multiple pages: and then has a drop-down box.  From the drop-down menu select Mirror Margins.  Now go back up to the top of the tab and fill in the amount you want for your gutters.  Thicker books need bigger gutters.  I used a 0.2 inch gutter for a 200 page book, which turned out just a tiny bit tight.  If you have less than 200 pages, 0.2 inches will be fine.  If you have more than 200 pages, you want a bigger gutter.  (To the right you will see a box for Gutter Position.  Once you select Mirror Margins it will be grayed out; this is okay.)

4. Put in your front matter.  It’s really easy to tell when someone used the electronic version of their book as the basis for their paperback—they usually don’t bother to change the front matter.  While it takes up more pages than the usual ebook front matter, I’m willing to give up the 3 cents of my royalty it costs per book to make the paperback look professional.

Here’s the really important thing that I realized: odd-numbered pages will be on the right.  Even-numbered pages will be on the left.  (This is NOT the way the document displays when you go to two-page view in Word—there, odd-numbered pages are on the left.)  So you want to make sure things like your title page and the beginning of your story are on odd-numbered pages.

Here’s the front matter I included in Overpowered.

           Dummy title page, right (in traditionally published books this is usually left blank.  However, if you leave it blank in a file you upload to Kindle Direct the page may vanish, thereby messing up your careful formatting.  I put a simple version of my title here.)

            Other stories by this author, left – facing real title page, right

            Copyright page, left – facing dedication, right

            Table of Contents, left – facing Character List, right

            Map, left – facing beginning of the story, right

Most folks won’t have character lists and maps to contend with, in which case I recommend that after the dedication page you have a blank page (left) facing the Table of Contents (right), followed by a blank page (left) facing the beginning of the story (right).

Make your front matter tidy with well-chosen fonts and font sizes.  I used Times New Roman size 12 for my copyright info and size 14 for the rest of my front matter.

Use page breaks to separate your info.  On the Insert tab, click Page Break (far left of ribbon).

5.  The copyright page.  If you aren’t sure what to put here, open a traditionally published book and copy the copyright notice.  Here’s an example.

© 2018 by Author Name

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, or recording—without the prior written permission of the author. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons (living or dead) is entirely coincidental.

Make sure to credit your cover artist and leave a spot for your ISBN.  Kindle Direct gives you a free ISBN, so you may as well use it.  I pushed my copyright notice as close to the bottom of the page as it would go without spilling over to the next page.

6. Format your story.  Make sure the story itself is in a readable TrueType font like Times New Roman 12.  Times New Roman 11 is also readable.  You can choose a different font for chapter headings.  

Next, I suggest pushing your chapter headings a third of the way down the page.  This leaves some space at the top of the page at the beginning of each chapter and is very attractive.

You may also want to get rid of the indent at the beginning of each chapter and section.  A lot of traditionally published books do this—even with one-line paragraphs.  You can flip through a few books and check. (I did!)

7. Add back matter.  At the least, you want an acknowledgements page and your author bio.  In traditionally published books, they will put blank pages where needed so that both the acknowledgements and bio start on the right-hand page (odd-numbered in your file).  Be aware that your book will end on a left-hand (even-numbered) page.  This is a great spot to advertise your other books.

8. Add page numbers.  You probably know the normal way to add page numbers… go to Insert, select Page Number, etc.  But since you don’t want page numbers in your front matter or back matter, the process is a little more complex now.  First, insert section breaks at the beginning and end of your story text (once you’re in the right place, on the Page Layout tab click on “Breaks,” then select “Next Page” under Section Breaks in the drop-down menu).  

Next, make sure your screen is showing a page of your story (not the front or back matter).  On the Insert tab, click on “Page Number” and select “Format Page Numbers…” at the bottom of the drop-down menu.  The Page Number Format dialogue box will appear.  Toward the bottom of the box, make sure that “Continue from Previous Section” is NOT selected.  Instead, click “Start at” and put the number 1 in the box.  Click okay.  Now, on the Insert tab, click “Page Number” again; hover over “Bottom of the Page” and then select the picture that shows the page number in the middle of the page (this is easier than trying to figure out mirror page numbers).  Look through your file—do you have page numbers where you want them, and not where you don’t?

9. Check everything.  Make sure your display is set to 100%, then scroll slowly through the whole document at least twice.  Does everything look good?

10. Embed fonts.  Click the File tab.  In the drop-down menu, select Options.  The Word Options dialogue will appear.  On the left-hand side you will see a menu; select the Save tab.  Toward the bottom of the Save options you will see a box labeled “Embed fonts in file.”  Click the box, then click okay.  Navigate back to your document and click Save.

11. Convert to PDF.  Kindle Direct takes PDF files.  In most recent editions of Word there is a free convert-to-PDF feature.  Click the File tab.  In the drop-down menu select Export, then click Create PDF/XPS.  Now you’re ready to upload your file to KDP!

A quick note about covers… you need a cover that accounts for your trim size and page count.  KDP provides free templates for this.  Just go to their site and input your info.

They give you a choice of matte and glossy covers.  In their description, they make it sound like only children’s books and fancy books use glossy covers; this is not accurate.  The Tales of Goldstone Wood (if you’re familiar with them) have glossy covers.  The matte covers pick up your finger oils as you read, which is not attractive, so I recommend the glossy covers.  Do note though—the glossy covers make your cover art appear darker, so you may want to ask your cover artist for a lighter version of your cover so that it will still look the way you want.

That’s all I’ve got… Do you guys have any paperback formatting tips and tricks?